Do you really know me & why I'm doing the run? - this is a long one, sorry!

Ok not written anything since Sunday so this may be longer than usual.

I wanted to start this with a bit more about me & why I'm doing the run. Stick with me I'll fry not to bore you too much!

I've struggled with my weight over the years (apart from when I was in my 20's when I was out clubbing every fri/sat & non stop dancing!) as the years crept on I gained & lost weight on various diets probably the most successful being rosemary Conley one when I got to 9 10. Then I got a job in the city centre & I was office bound so sat on my ever expanding behind eating chocolate, drinks & meals after work & very little if non at all on the exercise front. Anyway as a very good friend will agree I think I lost & gained the same 6lbs a number of times a year every time I'd say this is it I'm losing weight blah blah blah never happened & I became more & more unhappy coming home from work with 6+ bars of chocolate & numerous bags of crisps & that was probably desert after fish & chips! No wonder at my heaviest I got to 13 11 clinically obese for my 5 1 frame! Big boned? Medications? (I have under active thyroid & crohns & blamed both of these for my size). Anyway after a particular bad binge I thought I have to do something I have to lose weight I'm wasting my life being so unhappy! You still with me? I'll get to the running I promise!

Ok you're all going to shout at me now I called lighter life got a dr note & went off to a meeting that very night. There I sat with 11 other women all miserable about our weight & all determined we would do something. Armed with my shakes I went to work the next day informing everyone yes I was on another diet (I swear I saw eyes role like oh here we go again) all I asked was my colleagues support me in however long this next diet lasted! Well I lost 8lbs that 1st weight in & although it was tough I thought I can do this. I didn't like the soups & the only shake I liked was chocolate so for 12 weeks I lived on chocolate shakes with he odd bar that I had in the evening. I understand there is porridge & chilli now! I lost 3 stone & went into management where I re introduced food slowly. All the way through this diet there was counselling & this helped me understand why I over ate so helpful for me.

From this I felt great I was still a little heavy for my height 9 11 I think? But feeling confident for once in my life I started to believe in myself & feel proud as I had actually achieved something because I'd stuck at it. I put a little back on so went to ww & it came off again & got to balance my weight & stay a steady 9 7 - 10 stone.

The years after this Mum was diagnosed with Alzhimers I'd noticed her behaviour had changed & she was getting very forgetful with things. The dr was brilliant & we were sent to the memory clinic & put straight on medication. This delayed the symptoms & we managed with me cooking mums meals for the week & leaving instructions of what she should eat each meal, each day & she would tick off so I knew shed done this. Obviously I was very upset with mums condition as everyone is when a family member/friend is ill & I became paranoid I would get it & stated looking for ways to keep busy. Hope youre all still following & I haven't bored you too much but I feel it's important you get to know who I really am.

So around 2&1/2 years ago I started going to the gym a bit more not working too hard though goodness I didn't want to sweat! That is until I stumbled into a spin class by default & bang something hit me like a sledge hammer I was hooked. My legs ached like mad but my head was buzzing & I had to go back. I became a regular & built up to around 5 classes + the odd body pump class to. Diet wise I still had the odd binge mainly when I saw mum getting worse & not being able to do something else.

As mums condition deteriorated we got in carers to get her up & giver her medication & meals on wheels so at least she had a hot meal every day. This went on for around 12 months till mum quite clearly couldn't cope & she wss sectioned back in October 2010. This was very hard for me to deal with but it was needed we just couldn't manage any more. After a 2 month assessment mum was told she couldn't go home so I found a nursing home. Mum went into the nursing home on 23rd December 2010 & when I drove away from there on Christmas eve I felt relief wash over me as mum was now safe & getting the 24hour care she needed.

Bring on 2011 & I decided to take my fitness further & get myself a personal trainer. Bring on Kim Turner a professional ladies footballer. The 1st few sessions were tough, maybe I wasn't as fit as I thought I was? Oh well I'd have a go at everything she asked & over the months I felt my fitness & confidence getting better & better. I then started to do combat & pump on a regular basis becoming obsessed with exercise! Deep down I wanted to run but it did feel like had work so I always put this off.

In June this year I also changed my diet having seen 2 very good friends lose weight & feel great so bring on Tim Ferris the 4 hour body. It's all about protein & 1 cheat day a week. I loved it the minute I started it just meant a little more preparation & thought about meals which was fine I like routine & order so suited me. I also found eating this way with loads of spinach, beans, eggs, turkey, fish etc my training was better no more cramps or stitches, food digested well & my hair & skin improved to. I think initially I took treat day to extreme setting my alarm for 0630 so I could get up & eat as much as possible! Anyway I think I finally have a balance now tend to have a treat meal with a bar of chocolate or a desert & that's fine I think I finally have control now.

So why run? Finally I'm getting there. Well I want to raise money for Alzhimers & a run seems the best way to be able to do this. So after a few drinks with friends & a friend saying she had signed up I announced I'll do that to. Oh dear the next morning I wasn't quite as keen but I'd said I would so there & then I signed up. So with the deed done I had to take the bull by the horns & start my next journey!

So this is me & this is why I am going to become a runner & I am going to make my mum proud & I'm running this for my mum because I love her so much. Alzhimers is a cruel illness my mum is still alive & happy in her own little world but I've lost the person she was & I miss her so much.

I've gone on for long enough tonight so my progress for the week will have to wait for my next post which will probably be on Saturday/Sunday when I have time to sit down & put together the next installment.

I hope I haven't bored you with this lengthy post but it's important you know who I am & why I'm doing this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. X